THE POWER OF BEING SEEN - and why it changes everything

FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK

What happens when you really see yourself? Not in a passing glance while brushing your teeth or scrolling through filtered selfies, but in a moment so direct it makes you question, Is this who I am?

If you’re joining me for the first time, welcome! I’m Victoria - I live at the intersection of photography, psychology, and purpose. And that’s exactly what this blog is about: how we see ourselves, how we show up in the world, and how that shapes everything from our confidence to our business decisions.

Each month, I’ll explore concepts that sit somewhere between philosophical musings and practical insights. This first week, we’re focusing on the most fundamental human desire: to be seen and understood. It’s an impulse that cuts through nearly every aspect of life. When was the last time you felt truly seen, either by yourself or by someone else?

Being seen isn’t just about recognition—sometimes, it’s the mirror that forces us to confront what we’ve been avoiding.

The Power of the Portrait

I’ve been a brand photographer for years and nothing halts a session faster than a client seeing an image that doesn’t match the version of themselves in their head. There’s a sudden shift: the client might freeze, or their expression might flicker with self-doubt.

This happened once on the banks of Loch Lomond. My client—a woman who’d struck me as bold, confident and sure of her place - saw an image on my camera screen that startled her. “That’s not me,” she insisted, as though she’d just seen a stranger. Her eyes brimmed with confusion and I could sense panic welling up inside her.

We stepped away from the shoot, wandered into Cameron House for a coffee and set the camera aside. Over steaming mugs, we talked - really talked - about how the photos didn’t align with the “me” she’d been carrying in her memory. For years, she’d held onto a particular notion of who she was. The snapshot on my camera shattered that comforting self-perception.

That’s the power of a portrait. It doesn’t just depict the external you - it can reveal someone you never realised was there, forcing you to confront gaps between who you are, who you’ve been and who you want to be. Sometimes, that confrontation can spark exactly the shift you’ve been avoiding.

Photography Tip:
If you see your subject (or yourself) seizing up with discomfort - perhaps thinking, “That’s not me” - pause the process. Invite them to talk about what energises them: a meaningful project, a cause they champion or a secret dream. When they talk from that place, the camera often captures their real spark, not their defence mechanisms.

Why Being Seen often Feels so Challenging

We all want to be understood. Yet the idea of letting someone (and especially ourselves) see the raw, unfiltered version is intimidating. A single photograph that reveals an unexpected emotion can trigger a mini identity crisis:

• Am I really this introspective?

• Why do I look uncertain when I’m supposedly confident?

It’s uncomfortable to confront these questions, but also incredibly productive. Maybe you’re not as purely confident as you believed; maybe there’s space for a new perspective or a shift in how you approach your personal brand. A brand is just an external expression of your internal reality - when the two don’t match, people sense that dissonance.

Micro-Reflection:
When was the last time a candid photo or video made you pause? Did you brush it off as a “bad angle” or did you consider that maybe it was reflecting a facet of you you’d overlooked?

Being Seen vs. Being Showcased

In the realm of personal branding, it’s easy to confuse being seen with being showcased. The latter often involves curated posts, highlight reels and polished narratives that present you in a neat, consistent way. There’s nothing wrong with curation, but genuine presence is something else:

• Being showcased can be about controlling the narrative to impress.

• Being truly seen is about allowing the narrative to emerge naturally, even if it reveals cracks or complexity.

Your brand visuals tell a story - whether you’re aware of it or not. If your brand photos feel misaligned with the version of yourself you’re stepping into, it might be time for a refresh. I’m currently booking brand photography sessions to help entrepreneurs and professionals create images that reflect who they are now. Find out more here.

It’s somewhat akin to picking a slick logo vs. a deeply meaningful identity. The slick version might catch an eye, but the meaningful identity resonates at a deeper level. If you’re always controlling how people see you, you might be missing out on the authentic connection that emerges when they see a fuller you.

The Psychology of Facing the “Real You”

There’s subtle psychology at work whenever a photo or conversation reveals a facet of you that conflicts with your self-image. According to social cognition research, your brain experiences tension when external evidence contradicts internal beliefs. That tension can be jarring, but it can also be the key to growth.

Take Dr. Rachel Yehuda’s research on trauma and resilience: while much of her work deals with how validation can rewire our neural pathways, the principle applies broadly. When you’re confronted by an honest reflection - like a photograph or a candid remark - your brain sometimes has to update its “self file.” That might be the impetus to realign your self-perception with a new trajectory, whether in branding, career or personal relationships.

Is this the Real Me or just a Version?

One recurring question in my photography sessions is: “Which me is real?” The short answer: potentially all of them. Personality is flexible, shaped by environment and mood. If your brand or professional persona only shows one dimension of who you are - say, the always cheerful side - you may be ignoring aspects that could actually deepen people’s understanding of your work.

Branding Tip:
If you want a brand that resonates with clients on a deeper level, consider showing more than one “face.” Perhaps your usual tone is upbeat, but occasionally letting your audience see your quieter, more reflective side can add depth. People connect to something real - and you’re allowed to have layers.

Avoiding the Discomfort of Change

Another reason we shy away from truly being seen is that it might require adapting. If a photo or conversation reveals a side of us that’s unexpected, we might fear that our brand or our life path needs updating. That can feel burdensome.

But ignoring this newly revealed truth usually leads to bigger conflicts later on. Suppose you realise your brand visuals don’t match your newly discovered self-perception. If you continue promoting the old facade, you might feel uneasy or hesitant -draining energy you could use to flourish in new areas.

How Being Seen Ties to your Why

Many people’s core “why” is rooted in connection, creativity or making a difference. However, if you can’t see (and accept) yourself fully, you risk building a brand or lifestyle misaligned with what truly drives you. Being genuinely seen - by yourself and potentially by others - can serve as a checkpoint: Does my brand reflect the person I sense I am inside? Does it support my deeper purpose?

If the answer is no, that’s an invitation to realign. It might mean scheduling an updated brand photography session that captures who you feel you are now or rewriting your brand story to reflect your evolving perspectives. Sure, it can feel like a lot of work, but it’s also the path to a more genuine sense of success.

If you’re realising that your current brand presence no longer reflects who you are, let’s talk. Whether it’s through updated brand photography or a strategy session, I can help you realign your external image with the next stage of your success. Book your free Visual Brand Identity Boost now.

Teaser: A Deeper Dive in This Week’s Newsletter

What I’ve shared here is just the tip of the iceberg for Week 1 of my newsletter, Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations. In the full 2,500-word edition, I delve deeper into:

• THROUGH THE LENS: A more detailed anecdote about that Loch Lomond photoshoot - and how it reshaped my client’s sense of identity.

• PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS: Martin Buber’s concept of I-Thou and how it challenges us to truly recognise each other.

• BRAINWAVES: A deeper examination of how seeing yourself in a new light can literally rewire your identity pathways.

• THE BRANDING BLUEPRINT: Why “authenticity” is more than a buzzword - done right, it’s the cornerstone of a brand that resonates.

• THE WHY DIALOGUE: Reflection prompts to uncover what deeper mission might emerge once you let yourself be seen.

If you find yourself intrigued, I’d love for you to subscribe to get the full newsletter each week. Because truly seeing yourself - and letting others see you - could be the key that unlocks a fresh direction in your work or personal growth.

Sign up for Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations here

Unfinished Conversations

This blog is just the beginning - an unfinished conversation about how powerful it can be to recognise who you are, beyond the curated images or the assumptions you’ve made. Being seen can be unsettling, yes, but it can also provoke the clarity and courage you didn’t realise you needed.

I invite you to reflect on those moments you felt truly seen. Were they affirming? Uncomfortable? Did they nudge you toward a new project, a brand pivot, or a realisation about what you actually want?

UNTIL NEXT TIME...
Take a moment to consider how you’re showing up—for yourself, for your brand, for the people who matter. Maybe that single moment of being seen will open the door to a world of possibility you hadn’t considered.