THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES - and why they matter

FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK

You ever catch yourself saying things like “I’m just not creative” or “I always mess up under pressure?” We repeat these little scripts so often that they start to feel like solid truths about who we are. But are they really facts or are they just stories - stories that might be quietly steering our lives and careers?

I’m Victoria and if you’ve been here before, you know I operate at the crossroads of photography, psychology and purpose. In my brand photography sessions, I’ve noticed how clients’ self-beliefs show up in front of the camera - even beliefs they don’t consciously realise they hold. This week, let’s talk about those beliefs or “stories” that you might be whispering to yourself and how they can either box you in or help you soar.

This blog post is a teaser for the 2,500-word breakdown I share in my newsletter, Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations. Below, you’ll find a snapshot of the key themes, plus a taste of the philosophy, psychology and branding insight that I dive into fully in the newsletter. If this piques your curiosity, I invite you to subscribe for the deeper exploration - complete with more personal anecdotes, reflective questions, and real-life applications.

Sign up for Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations here

The Scripts we Absorb

Most of our self-stories aren’t chosen consciously. They stem from offhand remarks in childhood, random comments by teachers or examples we soaked up from family or pop culture. Over time, those fleeting moments solidify into “truths.”

• “I’m just not a people person.”

• “I can’t handle money.”

• “I’m terrible at networking.”

It might not even occur to us to question these beliefs. They become part of our internal identity. If those beliefs don’t align with who you want to be, they can keep you locked out of opportunities - like meeting new collaborators, offering new services or evolving your personal brand to reflect a more ambitious version of yourself.

Mini-Check:
Which of your so-called “truths” might actually be recycled assumptions from long ago?

A Glimpse through Brand Photography

In brand photography, the camera captures more than a curated pose or a well-chosen outfit. It can reveal the micro-expressions and subtle body language that reflect your deeper self-stories. I’ve seen confident entrepreneurs freeze up when it’s time to talk about pricing for a shoot, convinced no one will pay “that much” for their services - despite years of proven results. That’s not about price points but the old narrative they carry: “I’m not worth that much.”

A lifestyle coach I worked with had an “I’m not photogenic” story embedded in her mind. She insisted on angles and poses to “hide” what she considered flaws. After a few test shots though, we uncovered a stronger, more assured expression the moment she started talking passionately about her clients. That single frame contradicted her old script - showing a capable, focused coach who could command attention. She’d never seen herself that way and it left her rethinking the story she’d parroted for years.

Sometimes, seeing yourself in a new light - literally - makes you reconsider the narrative you thought was ironclad.

The Subtle Force of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Psychologically, each time you act in line with a story - like “I’m bad with money” - you reinforce it. Maybe you avoid checking your finances or you undersell your services. When that leads to financial stress, you sigh, “See? I’m bad with money,” further cementing the cycle.

Neuroscientists often refer to “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Each repetition (thought + emotion) carves a deeper groove in your brain’s wiring. Over time, it becomes the default story, making it harder to consider alternatives.

But the good news: you can rewrite the script. Neuroplasticity - the brain’s ability to rewire - kicks in when you deliberately challenge your story with new actions and beliefs. Think of it as editing a draft: you can replace “I’m just a background player” with “I’m capable of leading a team,” as long as you’re willing to back it up with small, consistent moves that confirm the new narrative.

Why it Matters to your Personal Brand

Here’s where branding enters the picture. A personal brand isn’t just a fancy term for your colour palette or your bio - it’s the story people pick up on about you. If, internally, you believe you’re not leadership material or you’re unworthy of high-paying clients, that vibe seeps into your external branding, even if you use top-tier designers and photographers. Perhaps your website copy is tentative instead of assertive. Maybe your brand photos show you hiding behind your laptop, as if unsure about being in the spotlight. Or your calls to action are apologetic rather than bold.

Conversely, if you start rewriting “I’m an underdog” into “I bring unique strengths people appreciate,” your brand presence naturally shifts. Branding isn’t about faking it: it’s about aligning your external expression with a healthier, more accurate internal narrative. If you suspect your brand is undercutting you, it may be time to reevaluate the stories under the surface.

I’m currently booking brand strategy and photography sessions to help entrepreneurs and professionals create images that inspire them to face the stories they tell themselves and truly reflect on who they are now. Find out more here.

Origins of those Tricky Narratives

So, where do these limiting stories come from? They could be:

• Inherited: maybe your parents repeated stories about how “we’re just not an ambitious family.”

• Drawn from Past Failures: one humiliating speech in high school might have morphed into “I can’t speak in public.”

• Societal Stereotypes: being told you don’t fit the mould for a certain role or industry, so you never try.

The problem is that we often accept these stories as if they’re facts. But rarely do we question them. Sometimes a single success - a well-received presentation, a client praising your thoroughness - contradicts your old script. If you pay attention to that contradiction, it can unravel the entire belief.

Tiny Shifts with Big Impact

Changing a story you’ve carried for years doesn’t require a dramatic overnight overhaul. In fact, small, deliberate shifts often work best:

1. Awareness: Catch yourself using limiting language. Instead of “I’m horrible with numbers,” try “I’m learning to handle finances in a smarter way.”

2. Collect New Evidence: Challenge yourself to gather proof that your old belief isn’t the whole story. That might mean balancing your accounts for a month or successfully pitching a higher rate to one new client.

3. Reinforce the New Story: Whenever you succeed at something your old narrative said was impossible, write it down or share it with a friend. Acknowledging it cements the shift.

The idea is to confirm to your brain - and brand - that you’re not the same person who once believed that limiting story.

Teaser: A Deeper Dive in This Week’s Newsletter

What I’ve shared here is a preview of the bigger picture in Week 2 of Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations. In my 2,500-word newsletter, I expand on:

• How to spot your most limiting stories (and why they’re so sneaky.)

• The role of neuroscience in reinforcing or dismantling these scripts.

• Philosophical takes from thinkers like Nietzsche and Sartre on interpreting reality.

• Step-by-step tips for realigning your brand messaging so it reflects a more empowering story.

• A “Why Dialogue” section that helps you connect rewriting your story to uncovering your deeper reason for doing what you do.

If this resonates and you want the full breakdown - complete with reflective exercises and personal anecdotes - subscribe to my newsletter, Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations. Each week, I’ll deliver fresh insights on how psychology, photography and purposeful living intersect to shape your brand and your life.

Sign up for Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations here

Unfinished Conversations

This blog is just the start of an unfinished conversation about the subtle yet powerful scripts we repeat internally. The real magic lies in recognising those old stories, challenging their legitimacy, and rewriting them into something that serves you better. Whether it’s your personal brand, your next career move or just a shift in how you see yourself, the stories you choose can either box you in or set you free.

So, which story have you been telling yourself? And more importantly, does it still fit who you want to be?

Let’s keep this dialogue going. If you’re intrigued and want the deeper scoop, that’s what my newsletter is all about - delivering real stories, deeper philosophies and actionable tips for building a life and brand that truly reflect you. Because you’re not stuck with the narrative you inherited; you’re the author and the next chapter is up to you.

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

The stories we tell ourselves shape everything - from the way we show up in our careers to the opportunities we believe we deserve. Stories aren’t facts: they’re narratives we’ve rehearsed for so long, they feel like the truth.

So let me ask you: what’s one belief you’ve been carrying that might not actually be true? And if you let go of that story, what might be possible for you?  

Next week, we’re looking at why we feel stuck- and why it’s often not about confusion, but about fear of what comes next. If you’ve ever told yourself, I just don’t know what I want, this one’s for you.

Until then, start questioning the stories.
– Victoria