WHY YOU FEEL STUCK - and how to move again

FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK

Have you ever told yourself, “I just don’t know what I want,” when in reality you do know, but the path forward feels too risky or challenging? That’s the tricky side of feeling “stuck.” Often, a lack of desire or opportunity is a result of grappling with the implications of what you secretly already want.

I’m Victoria - over the past couple of weeks, I’ve shared snapshots on being seen and the stories we tell ourselves. This week, it’s all about that unnerving sense of stagnation. Why do we remain in place, even when we suspect there’s a bigger, bolder move just around the corner?

Below, you’ll find 1,500 words that scratch the surface. In my newsletter, Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations, I go deeper - 2,500 words deeper - into the fears that masquerade as confusion, the neuroscience behind inaction and the branding missteps that stem from clinging to a version of yourself you’ve outgrown. If this resonates, I’d love for you to subscribe and explore the full deep dive.

Sign up for Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations here

The Difference between "I don't Know" and "I'm Afraid"

Have you ever felt stuck at some point - maybe in your career, your brand direction or your personal goals? People often say, “I just don’t know what I want,” but the truth might be that they do know, they’re simply daunted by the cost of going after it. The cost might mean stepping out of a comfortable identity, letting go of stable income or risking judgment from people who expect you to stay the same. Admitting that risk can be scarier than playing “I’m not sure,” so we remain stuck.

This exact scenario shows up in brand photography sessions, too. I’ve had clients who claim they’re uncertain about what look or vibe they want for their personal brand but once we dig a bit, we discover they do have a vision - they’re just afraid that pivoting to that new style means discarding the old brand identity that felt safe.

Through the Lens: Freeze Mode in Photography

During a photoshoot, there’s often a moment when the subject suddenly stiffens, as if someone hit pause on their personality. Maybe they’re anxious about appearing “professional” or “flawless,” so they overthink every pose. The result is forced - and ironically, that forced look is what they dread seeing in the final images.

Movement, however slight, is the antidote. Usually, I invite the client to move around, talk with their hands or do something silly. It breaks the spell of tension. The same concept applies to your life or brand. If you feel stuck, sometimes the simple act of starting in any direction can break the inertia. Waiting to feel confident or “ready” is a sure way to remain frozen indefinitely.

Micro-Insight:
As soon as you realise you’re stiffening up - whether in front of a camera or in a new venture - do something small that shifts the energy: rework one paragraph of your brand copy, email one potential client or experiment with a different social media intro. It might feel awkward, but awkward beats immobile.

Philosophical Underpinnings: Fear Beneath the Surface

Historically, we like to label ourselves “unsure” or “confused” so we don’t have to confront that we actually do want something new but fear losing what’s comfortable. Sartre talked about “bad faith,” a form of self-deception where we avoid facing our freedom because it’s burdensome. If we claim ignorance, we can sidestep taking responsibility.

Consider the possibility that you might be stalling because you sense the next step requires real change. If you shift your personal brand from warm pastel aesthetics to bold, edgy graphics, you risk alienating your existing audience. If you rewrite your “I’m just not a leader” story, you risk stepping on stage and discovering what that might actually look like. Fear of failure or misalignment can make it easier to say, “I’m still figuring it out,” effectively keeping you in the same loop.

Brainwaves: The Neuroscience of Inaction

On a biological level, we prefer the familiar - even when it’s unfulfilling. Neuroscientists refer to this as the status quo bias: your brain perceives the unknown as a possible threat, so it nudges you to stay put. No wonder it feels physically uncomfortable to try something new.

But your brain is also neuroplastic, which means it can adapt once you start taking consistent small actions. Each tiny success - like sending one email to a new collaborator or introducing a fresh brand colour - shows your brain that nothing catastrophic happens when you move forward. Over time, that rewiring diminishes the fear that’s been masquerading as confusion.

Why Feeling Stuck Affects your Personal Brand

A personal brand is like a reflection of who you are at a given time. If, deep down, you’re hesitating or second-guessing the direction you want to go, your brand might feel equally stalled. Maybe you haven’t updated your website in years or you keep deferring a big design overhaul. Possibly you’re “waiting for clarity,” but in truth, you fear that rebranding might mean losing your old niche or stepping into a bigger game you’re not sure you can handle.

Branding Tip:
If your visuals and messaging feel outdated, ask yourself whether you’re truly uncertain or whether you’re stalling because the next brand evolution might prompt bigger changes. Potentially, it’s time to push beyond the comfortable brand identity you’ve outgrown. The inertia you sense - is it about the brand colours or fonts or are you playing small to avoid risk?

Your brand evolves as you evolve. When you’re feeling stuck in your business or unsure how to align your messaging with where you’re headed, a 1:1 strategy session with me is a must. Book it here.

A Personal Example: "I Don't Know if I'm Cut out for X"

Early in my career, I felt stuck in a job that no longer resonated. I kept telling friends, “I’m not sure what I want,” but I was sure: I wanted to pursue photography full-time. The real fear was letting go of a steady salary, explaining the shift to my family and risking failure. By claiming I was “confused,” I avoided making the leap.

Eventually, I caved to that inner push and took small steps: building a portfolio, working more hours and signing a few clients. Each success chipped away at the fear, rewiring my brain to see possibility instead of only risk. It’s the same principle for you. The “stuck” feeling might be rooted in a desire to avoid the vulnerability or potential judgment that comes with actually going after what you want.

Teaser: A Deeper Dive in This Week’s Newsletter

What you’ve read here is just the surface of Week 3 in Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations. In the 2,500-word newsletter, I talk about:

• THROUGH THE LENS: How freezing in front of the camera parallels feeling stuck in life decisions.

• PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS: The difference between being truly unsure and simply fearing the implications of what you already know.

• BRAINWAVES: More insights on how your brain’s status quo bias can sabotage your best intentions and how to outsmart it.

• BRANDING BLUEPRINT: Why clinging to an outdated brand identity might be your biggest obstacle to growth.

• THE WHY DIALOGUE: Practical questions to help you act on what you already suspect, bridging the gap between fear and forward motion.

If these ideas resonate - if you’re realising you might not be as “confused” as you claim then subscribe to my newsletter for the full story, reflection prompts and real-life strategies. Let’s get you unstuck by naming what you truly want and taking that crucial step, even if it’s small.

Sign up for Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations here

Unfinished Conversations

There’s a reason I call my main newsletter “The Unfinished Conversations.” Feeling stuck often comes from the tension between who you sense you can be and who you’re currently acting as. Rather than concluding you’re “indecisive” or “unfocused,” maybe ask whether you know exactly what must change. Quite possibly, you just haven’t admitted it out loud.

And that’s okay. We all need time to gather the courage. But maybe reading this was your nudge to stop waiting. Because, ironically, staying “stuck” is still a decision - just one that might keep you from discovering the next exciting phase of your brand, career or personal life.

I’d love to hear about your experiences with feeling stuck. Did you eventually push past it, or are you still waiting for a sign? If you want the fuller breakdown of how to shift from “I don’t know” to “I’m doing it anyway,” my newsletter has the deeper dive, exercises, and personal stories that might be the final push you need. Let’s keep this conversation going—one small action at a time.

Sign up for Frames of Mind: The Unfinished Conversations here

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

Feeling stuck is rarely about lacking clarity. Knowing exactly what you want but fearing what it will cost you, that's the part that halts us. Maybe the cost is leaving behind an old version of yourself or stepping into something bigger than you ever imagined. Maybe it’s letting go of the safety of indecision and finally committing.

Where are you holding onto I don’t know when you actually do?

Where are you waiting to feel ready when you could just begin?

This isn’t about making reckless leaps. It’s about taking one small step - sending the email, updating your brand, testing a new direction. Because clarity isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you create.

Next week, we’re tackling a big one: Authenticity. Is it possible that “just being yourself” is actually keeping you small? 

Until then, take one step - just one.
– Victoria